Library Of Dust

Can 1211

Below is the diary of Anne Smith, at this point in her diary she is 28 years old and lives in The Bellevue Institution For Mental Illness Patients. She has been there since she was 9 years old, her parents moved her there after she suffered minor brain damaged from falling out of tree and hitting her head on a rock. Her parents send her 3 letters a year, one during Easter, one on her birthday (July 25) and one during Christmas, she has not seen them since she was 20.

Wednesday
September 21 1980
Dear Diary,

I woke up this morning with another terrible headache, they seem to be happening more and more in the years since my accident. Every time I get these headaches I find myself remembering what happened in the days leading to my arrival at Bellevue Institution.
I was only nine when Suzy dared me to climb the old oak tree behind our school, I didn’t want to climb that tree but she told me that if I climbed the tree I would be popular. So what choice did I have? I climbed. I made it five branches up when my pants got caught, so I paused to unhook them. Suzy yelled something at me from the ground so I looked down to see were she was but as I searched for her I lost my balance and tumbled out of the tree and hit my head on a rock lying at the base of the tree. I woke up days later in the hospital, my head throbbing as I looked around. I didn’t know were I was or why I was there the only thing I was able to remember was the old oak tree dare. A nurse dressed in white explained to my what was going on and introduced me to a man and a woman she said were my parents. I tried to speak but found that only a few sounds made it out of my mouth, unintelligible grunts. When I was released from the hospital the doctor suggested I be taken to Bellevue, were I would be taken care of and my needs be seen to.
The doctor could have been a little bit more accurate. I massaged my head as I walked downstairs to the mess hall for breakfast. Occasionally people stopped to say hello and ask how my speech lessons were going. (Since my accident had mysteriously left my body unable to form words I had been communicating trough actions until one of the other patients volunteered to help me with my speech.) I sat down and ate my breakfast, some form of oatmeal and a glass of water, as I ate I pondered what I would do the rest of the day. The same as usual I figured. Go back to my room and freshen up a bit then go to Old Mary’s room for speech lesions, which would last till lunch. Then the doctors working here have a number of patients come in for a checkup. If you weren’t in the doctors office you usually just sat around and did nothing, because there was nothing to do. There wasn’t a place to hang out unless you went to someone’s room to visit and socialize. Most patients just sat in there rooms till it was time for dinner anyway. So with breakfast over I set out and did just that I went to speech then lunch. My check up days was on Thursday anyway so I did nothing after lunch. I just sat in my room and made a list of things I need to get, and on my way to dinner I gave the list to one of the nurses and asked her to buy me those things while she was in town. She made no promises. Luckily dinner is always the most enjoyable part of the day, the food was reasonably decent and most of the patients are in a good mood talking and laughing with one another. Then after dinner every Wednesday they serve ice cream. After I ate my ice cream I made my way back to my room and began to wind down after my not so exciting day. My head began throbbing again so I laid down and rested my eyes only to wake up and begin the same routine all over again.

With Love
Anne Smith
(Can 1211, Seventh shelf up, Eighth row in, Second can back)